EDITOR’S DESK: What (school) is on second?

       Imagining Abbott & Costello as Westsiders having a “discussion” about District 11's school changes...
       Let's go visit the old Buena Vista school.
       Didn't you hear? It's closed.
       Closed? You mean boarded-up closed?
       No, there's a community center there now.
       So it must be called the Buena Vista center.
       No, it's called the West Center.
       I thought the West Center was at West Middle School.
       It was, but it moved.
       Well, that's good news.
       Why do you say that?
       Because it was confusing to have a West inside of a West, with separate entrances. People didn't know which was which.
       Who said that's changed?
       You did. Just now.
       I said the West Center has moved to Buena Vista.
       You're not talking sense.
       Sure I am. The words "Buena Vista" are engraved right on the building.
       Forget it. Let's just go to Whittier. That's another great building.
       We could do that. But you weren't hoping to talk to your old teachers, were you?
       As a matter of fact, I was.
       But you never made it to high school.
       Why are you bringing that up?
       Because all they've got there now are high school teachers.
       Why would an elementary school have high school teachers?
       Who said it was an elementary school?
       It's always been an elementary school.
       You don't keep up much, do you?
       So it's Whittier High School now?
       It's Bijou.
       God bless you.
       No, that's the name of the school.
       What happened to Whittier?
       Nothing. The name's engraved on the building.
       What else is new? But you just said it's a high school.
       Yes, an alternative high school, to be exact.
       I'm going to need an alternative in a minute here. All I really wanted to do was go over to Buena Vista.
       Which one?
       What do you mean, which one? A minute ago you told me it was closed.
       Right, old Buena Vista.
       What are you saying - there's a new Buena Vista?
       You're catching on fast.
       Well, where is it?
       You mean the school, right?
       No, the Washington school closed.
       But you just said it's at Washington.
       Yes, but they call it Buena Vista now.
       OK, fine I've got it. All the Buena Vista staff and kids moved to Washington.
       Except for the ones at West.
       They're going to school at the community center?
       No, silly, the other West.
       But they're too young for middle school.
       I guess you haven't heard of West Elementary.
       You're driving me crazy.
       Actually, the people doing the driving are the parents. The school doesn't have any bus service.
       Wait a minute, I'm putting all this together, in spite of you. This must be the "West" you mentioned with the same entrance as when it was the West community center.
       That's right.
       Why didn't you say so at first?
       Say what?
       That's there's a brand-new school, and other Westside schools closed or moved around in a mixed-up way, and most of the kids are at different schools than they were last year.
       Would you have believed me?

- K.J.