GUEST COLUMN:
Looking forward to turning 80
By Dave Hughes

       79 today. Dull birthday, my 79th. I'll have to make my 80th more memorable.
  • Skydive onto the West Point Parade ground during 2008 Graduation Parade.
  • Drive off the top of Pikes Peak in Louis Unser's jalopy he raced up in the Pikes Peak Hill Climb Race in 1928, the year I was born.
  • Accept the invitation Tsering Sherpa tendered me last week, via wireless VOIP, to trek back up to the Sherpa village of Namche at 15,000 feet on Mt. Everest where I helped him get rich and not just famous back in 2004.
  • Set my laptop to ring up about 5 million Skype numbers at once and transmit a Happy Birthday IM, while I party.
  • Publicly tear up on YouTube our 30-year house mortgage which was just paid off.
  • Take my latest Great Grandson to Iraq when he is out of diapers.
  • Hold an Ipod close to my pacemaker and see if I can get it to give me a buzz.
  • Hold off until 2009 when Patsy and I can celebrate our 55th wedding anniversary. Neater number.
  • Test out a casket and tombstone where I hope to have a solar-powered laptop (no screen) with heuristic software, and a wi-fi rig interactively argue my convictions until the end of time, or at least until the sun burns out.
  • Just tell the city and the state of Colorado to go to
           h--- on the interminable grant application, personally donate $15,000, hire the architect myself and go ahead with the design guidelines before I am dead and buried.
           Told my family last week at one of our endless round of birthday parties my wife likes to hold for our kids and their spouses, their kids - our grandkids - and our great grandkids, not to observe my dull 79th birthday, but hold off until my 80th. But to no avail. They will all show up at 5:30 this evening. I'm open to suggestions.

           Longtime Westside leader Hughes turned 79 May 18.